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by Throwing Toasters

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Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall Humpty Dumpty had a great fall and All the king's horses and all the king's men Couldn't get him a dime But I could Jack and Jill went up the hill To fetch themselves a pail of water They fell down and we sued everyone Including the hill owner's daughter If you are a nursery rhyme And you're in trouble all the time Wanna put your wife in a pumpkin rhine? I can give you peace of mind 'Cause my service is one of a kind I'm the Nursery Rhyme Lawyer Little Miss Muffett sat on her tuffet And then that spider came out to play We served that arachnid with a restraining order Now he must be at least two hundred yards away Blackbirds baked in your pie? Boy kissed you and made you cry? Your cow jumpin' into the sky? Crazy, thinkin' he could fly Give my services a try And see what a good boy am I My ex-husband, that crooked old man, ran off with that floozy gardner, Mistress Mary, and left me with these twenty kids living in a shoe. I didn't have any idea what to do. So, I called up the Nursery Rhyme Lawyer. In just one week, he had found that miserable scum-bag of a man and had him paying child support. Huh! He can keep those cockle shells, I got the money. We live in a boot now, and I have a summer sandle on the lake. Thank you Nursery Rhyme Lawyer! When your cupboard is bare I'm gonna be there Dish ran away with your spoon I'll get it back soon If you've lost your sheep There's no need to weep Someone's stealin' your tarts Don't let it break your heart If your bridge is fallin' down I'm gonna be around When the bough breaks I've got what it takes You know who I am I'm the Nursery Rhyme Lawyer You know, I make my living jumping over candlesticks because I'm very nimble and quick. But, uh, one day I slipped on a puddle of wax and I got burned pretty badly. I called the Nursery Rhyme Lawyer and he was able to get me workman's comp in no time flat. Thank you Nursery Rhyme Laywer! My little lamb followed me to school one day. Those mean boys and girls just laughed and laughed at him all day long. So I called the Nursery Rhyme Lawyer and we filed defamation of character suits against them and I haven't heard so much as a peep from them since. Thank you Nursery Rhyme Lawyer! I got pushed off a wall and the Nursery Rhyme Lawyer got me $1.2 million. You know the story. Man, my brains is scrambled . . .
Mrs. Claus 02:13
Hip Chick 02:51
SkrewU 02:47


This is a collection of ‘favorite’ Throwing Toasters songs. These are songs that fans have said are favorites or songs that have aired on The Dr. Demento Show to some success. There’s also one or two that are personal favorites to play. In addition, there are three previously unreleased songs. First is GLOBAL WARNING which was the #3 most requested comedy song on The Dr. Demento Show for 2011. Another is ONLINE LOVE which was recorded for the album ‘burnt’ but wound up not being used. Finally, there’s I REALLY LIKE TO EAT POTATOES a song recorded in 1995 by Head Hunter Country which was the early incarnation of Throwing Toasters. It has never been on CD before and once you hear it, you’ll have no doubt as to why. A huge thank you to all Throwing Toasters fans everywhere for their support over the years. This certainly wouldn’t have gone as long as it has had it not been for you!


released January 4, 2012


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Throwing Toasters Burbank, California

Comedy rock band, Throwing Toasters combines the hilarious songwriting of Tenacious D with the onstage energy of Barenaked Ladies. Only difference is that all their songs are clean there is only one band member. The rest of the members of seem to be figments of Grant’s imagination. This doesn't deter this one man Comedy Rock show from being a side splittingly funny and high energy affair. ... more

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